Poems
Has not darkened yet, I will put a glass
On a table from glass – in him clouds float.
I will pour a tart moisture and a long drink
I will be forgotten. You nearby will sit down. Then
I will get tired to look at a heavenly blue,
But eyes I will not close – ask – do not ask.
Decline on glass – I will dilute heat
And again, as before, I will fill a glass.
Be silent! Well it is not necessary senseless phrases.
I heart have got tired. Soul has burnt.
Do not torment, be not angry, do not scold and do not ache.
Take me for a hand. Bitterns with me.
01.05.07.
To leave a response
* * *
* * *
You were right, as never,
Though I to listen did not want –
Smoet time water
Dirt from the on sale body.
Will carry away its stream
In oblivion wood, yes in a thicket.
porastet it bylem
With a year everyone to thicket-thicket.
But dushoju to trade,
Hearts to take out particles
Yes in employment love to hand over –
No, such not to be excused.
It spirit inside you will kill,
Yourself, having sold, you will tear down.
Even if to a body you say lies –
Do not betray the soul.
10.02.06.
To leave a response
* * *
* * *
I will die – and let me will condemn,
Will disassemble, will spread out to spare parts:
From whom took what loans,
With whom fire was, and with whom – a bad weather.
For God's sake! To me there will be no business
Before, that tomorrow people will tell
Let will discuss about what did not sing
And the one who a pain was yesterday's.
I will die – there will be only a word.
Let will not name it mechtoju.
Let me will condemn and it is severe.
Nevertheless it is better, than anything!
18.04.07.
To leave a response
* * *
* * *
I have told sadly «Good day!
Also leave my thoughts, do not touch me! »
You have answered: «it is mutual!» And we have dispersed.
Everyone in itself. With beznadezhem were weaved …
04.07.
To leave a response
* * *
Release to take a walk Soul,
See to it and listen,
As she sighs is sad,
As falls in love suddenly unintentionally.
As dosadna to the Shower Moscow,
As caress its words.
As it, so the charter in struggle,
Suddenly will return back – to you.
29.04.07.
To leave a response
* * *
* * *
You could understand me,
Yes has not understood.
You could embrace me
In a white field.
In wood would manage to withdraw,
Yes on an icy cold.
You could rescue me,
Yes has not coped.
Do not quarrel, my friend, now,
Do not swear.
You can believe – simply believe,
Is not present – repent.
I – not that you wanted,
I – another.
I will not leave destiny,
Escaping.
In the world to me it is more important than all
Sheet of paper:
In him salinity of all seas,
Vivacity of a moisture.
In him both calm, and good fortune.
And stradane,
In him a happy life a smooth surface
And priznane.
You not in me have beheld that!
Well, annoyingly.
You leave my side-altar?
Here and good …
01.05.07.
To leave a response
* * *
I ask, close eyes,
Do not think of what.
I will tell, how snow
Becomes a stream.
It will hasten, murmuring,
On will – from Moscow.
It will disappear immediately
Under old bridges.
And there – from hailstones:
In fields, in woods and in a distance,
There, where do not live
Neither a grief, nor grief.
And I, as those snow,
To run for a long time I want.
Also I conceal each time.
And in vain I murmur.
But you have caught me –
In a handful has concealed,
Vljubil also has caressed.
To run?! There will be no forces …
02.07.
To leave a response
* * *
* * *
- I want you here!
- In what a trouble? I am ready.
- Where to disappear from eyes?!
- Let look – it it is not new.
- So, I am afraid, will not go.
- Well, and how in another way?
- You and I – we together. -
Itself you believe though to a word?
- You are severe to me.
- It is extremely humane.
- Everything, give we will wait.
- Ozhidane obmanno.
- You where? – I Leave!
- How I? – You depart.
- Further that? – I will not tell!
But I will return. You know.
02.07.
To leave a response
* * *
You call by phone,
You speak: «Mashkov?». "I" —
I answer severely.
«Hi, strange mine!».
And in an impetuous smile
Lips have blurred.
Again I do errors!
Again I will crash from the sky downwards.
I did not think to fall in love,
From itself you drove.
So it tried not to be given,
That has absolutely become crazy.
And now here – admire!
All not that. And I – not I. Well?
To you on taste
This «strange yours»?
18.02.07.
To leave a response
* * *
* * *
I have got tired of you,
Without you has got tired too.
I cannot live, liking.
Well, on what is it similar?
That on a storm-hurricane,
That on dunes, on mountains,
That on the sea-ocean,
That fortunately, on a grief …
18.02.07.
To leave a response
* * *
* * *
You to heavens have uplifted me,
You me zaljubil to tears,
To delight, to forces of loss.
Let for an instant – but I live and I believe.
To me still, me absolutely slightly —
Feet the lock on you to close …
That dushoju and a body to merge,
And bezumnoju to rise a bird.
02.07.
To leave a response
* * *
* * *
Three hundred years so nobody looked at me –
Sight at plasma, at a lava the similar.
As if you in me have let out one thousand arrows –
I feel them heart and a skin.
02.07.
To leave a response
* * *
* * *
Zaedajut a life, vanity –
Here and you not that, I not that
Heart inside does not tremble,
Not the moon burns, lanterns.
Night calms down. Also creeps
Tail of alarms, insults and cares.
Has eaten away I smother day, the life has got –
Here and you not that, I not that.
To me to run away for a long time and to be rescued,
To me with running start, r-time to jump off downwards.
I know, you not that, I not that.
Well, what for to us a life-drudgery?!
18.04.07.
To leave a response
* * *
Regret me, please, —
So has got tired!
I will complain to you of all,
It becomes easier.
I will tell insults bitter
And grieves,
That they have left, were not remembered,
That have lagged behind.
You cover me from eyes human,
Hide from the world,
That could live far from them
That liked.
That did not think about tomorrow's,
About the yesterday's.
That a vein one today's,
The present.
Regret me, please,
To me so it is sad!
However, complain – do not complain,
It is empty … It is empty!
25.02.07.
To leave a response
* * *
In vanity infinite
And in fights fire –
In cross and counter
You remembered me?
Under attacks from back
In dishonest war —
Malicious, severe, hateful –
You thought of me?
Over grey-haired fields,
In heavens to height,
Near to the sun coals
You dreamt of me?
I do not know. I do not know!
I live, as in a dream.
About one I beg:
Do not forget about me!
02.07.
To leave a response
* * *
You have asked me playfully
«Of whom you think now?».
And heart has knocked timidly
About edges – as last time.
Well to me was to you to answer?!
I am stupid brjaknula: "Secret".
Though, where there! In whole light
Such empty "secrets" are not present.
Ridiculously and sadly. Silly, terribly.
I do not know, than to myself to help:
Has got stuck, as a nail, a question yesterday's …
And you dreamt me this night.
23.02.07.
To leave a response
* * *
* * *
To me with itself it is not cheerful
And you mourns.
Sing to me, the darling, a song –
In it the melancholy will be diluted.
And winter bitter
Becomes us perinoju,
Share unlucky
Fairy tale becomes divnoju.
To me with you it is tender
And you all luxuriates.
The spirit will fall asleep, having cried at ease:
It will be consoled in you.
10.02.2006
To leave a response
* * *
The rain pours. The airport.
Here launch. Here – a turn.
Beat a rain of flash of fires.
It pours, revenging them, more strongly.
Kap-kap. Knock on a wing.
Here a gangway. People float.
Let so. To me all the same:
Pours a rain in sad cinema.
In your day – thought on you.
You – there: in shine of victories.
Noise, din, set of words,
Ring, laughter, the sea of colours.
Well, let pleases light,
Be live one thousand years …
I – here. Thought – as always.
Kap-kap. From the sky water.
2006.
To leave a response
* * *
* * *
The red. Black.
Stains washed away.
I bark, I argue.
Malicious, angry.
The black. Red.
All – delusion.
The sea rainy –
Here disposal.
Life — red-black.
I – black-red.
Both intolerable.
Both dangerous.
07.11.05
To leave a response
* * *
* * *
Winter. Also brings down snow.
Iced over road.
Today – pleasure and success,
And tomorrow – mourning drogi.
Today – vanity and a life,
And tomorrow - dozing Eternity.
To what to be such careless,
To what such vulnerable to be?
To be ill, at phrases to take offence
And that to fly up, and that to decrease,
Without regrets, endlessly
To feed with soul and there are hearts.
29.10.05
To leave a response
* * *
Myself I will wound,
Itself I am treated.
Itself huliganju,
Itself I will apologise.
Itself I renounce,
Itself I can not.
Itself pokajus,
Itself I will escape.
You I hate,
You I like.
Week I do not see -
About a meeting I ask.
You I will not forget,
You I will bypass.
With you I will not be
To itself on a trouble.
28.10.05.
To leave a response
* * *
Whether stars, whether lanterns
Shine over moskovskoju road.
If it is interesting – look
As you live. Siro and it is poor.
Whether morning, whether vanity –
All hurry, hoot, crowd in a stopper,
Life living from the house to the bridge.
And then again – zaevshej the button.
All postylo. All conceals a trouble.
All will kill also all me will destroy.
I will stand a little on the bridge.
I will jump off downwards. I will return to the god a soul.
2005
To leave a response
* * *
I call – you a tube do not take:
Number unfamiliar what to do.
You do not search for me, do not call –
Without me to live, has told, you are able.
To me more sharply a dagger those words.
To me they, live, have ripped up a stomach.
I will blink, I will restrain hardly,
Not to howl, to cry from a pain.
«You would not touch me now» -
That's all. Here my destiny and a lot.
«Yes, excuse. Thanks.» And immediately
As pigeons have flown tears.
Have sat down on powdered cheeks,
Hide in the made up eyelashes.
And inside the fear is already concealed -
The fear of that a life only dreams me. 28.10.05 To leave a response
* * *
To me you to grow fond and be forgotten,
All to give and reveal to the bottom.
To me you to madness to dream,
And most to remain without a dream.
That once again everything, all for the first time,
That without thoughts and that nevterpezh,
That the nobility – in neuderzhnom an impulse,
Not otherwise, me you will take …
Only the lie is everything, all – empty.
I do not believe now in miracles.
We not pair, and it is simple us two
And not eternity at us – half an hour.
19.09.05
To leave a response
* * *
I with ease live the dreams
And with grief I come back to life.
Whom to blame? Ourselves, only
In a trap we exhaust the life.
From a debt, from ambitions, from vanities
We weave, as from thick rods a cage.
Always, everywhere, from all we aspire
The hearts are reliable for locking.
That anywhere nothing threatened us,
That the role to play, not to be oneself,
That everything, that habitually surrounded us
Has not washed off sudden feelings a crazy surf.
2005 To leave a response
* * *
* * *
I again, I always at the crossroads.
To me calm on heart as a knife –
Both scrapes, and scratches. Stirs up
From rest. Also you will not disassemble
Where pleasure, and where – an underworld.
Where art, and where – vanity.
And melancholy, this old svodnja,
With poor heart plays, joking:
That in fire of one it will throw,
That to another in a teeth will bring,
That at the third favour excuse.
That so gives to the fourth.
And, having wallowed in lack of will bljadstve,
Having given away the life in parts,
I am lost in perversity a kingdom -
I sell the soul to devils.
2005
To leave a response
* * *
* * *
I would grow fond of you,
Yes it is a pity – not time.
Well has not developed. And destiny
In me does not believe.
It spat on mine
Stremlene in the sky.
Do not exist for it
Dreams and nebyl.
All here is predetermined for a long time,
All – a victim to a life.
And feelings – to feelings all the same.
They are forgotten.
17.09.05
To leave a response
* * *
The airport buzzes as a beehive
In the having wallowed to vanity.
Hundred persons have looked, have flown,
Yes only persons all not those.
Among thousand eyes to me so it is melancholy.
Through a hall huge I pass
Carts, people by scurry about.
I search, I search, I do not find.
You have not informed on yourselves.
I know – means, could not,
But two deep wrinkles
Impudently between eyebrows have laid down.
02.06.05
To leave a response
* * *
It is possible for me to grow fond
Or is better it is not necessary?
It is possible nimfoju to be
Or nevertheless menadoj?
So it is easy to operate
That who is young and vulnerable:
It is necessary to tell –
I will disappear as a smoke.
2005
To leave a response
* * *
I feel myself shljushkoj.
However, so it all also is.
I have got itself in a trap,
Zaglotnuv, as nazhivku, flattery.
We do not become close dushoju –
We are various as paradise and a hell.
I live unearthly toskoju,
You – krushenem terrestrial barriers.
I am guilty, that so hurried.
From zhelanja has become crazy.
Has not reflected, has not solved –
On a current of feelings floated.
We pass each other by:
Souls do not see we through eyes.
I hoped to become liked –
Became the maid on half an hour.
14.03.05
To leave a response
* * *
* * *
It is possible, I will not long,
It is possible I will sit down at a window?
All grieves I will forget
Also I will stay here one.
It is possible for me to leave easy?
It is possible not to like simply?
It is possible. It is possible! It is possible!! It is possible!!!
Whether only it is possible so to live?
2005
To leave a response
* * *
I tirelessly fight
With surrounding life.
For a prosperity I struggle
Also I serve as someone's retinue.
Instead of a life – calls,
The monitor – instead of windows.
Instead of heart – pieces
And splinters. Splinters!
2003.
To leave a response
* * *
We with you any more children.
Like as should understand,
That not eternally the sun shines,
That it is impossible for a half-life to wait.
It is time to us to be defined –
Either together, or separately.
I cannot so to get accustomed:
That heat, and that – a frost!
Yes again not on a target.
To me it is clear and without words:
That to serious otnoshenjam
You, as before, are not ready.
20.12.03.
To leave a response
* * *
In my melancholy – a rustle of a grass and a moonlight.
In my love – much a dream and much delirium.
I that rush to you, I try to catch each your eye.
That I become isolated, I long and I go back.
You not last, not you – it is necessary to understand the first.
You – my unique. You are only capable to captivate,
To do mad and to do svoeju raboj.
The pain – without you to be, and the pleasure to me – to be with you.
2002.
To leave a response
* * *
At everyone the art:
Yours – not to know, I – to be silent.
What to sense to ache, what to us here it is empty?
avno it is time to finish with all.
You will think, that suffer.
I will think, that I struggle.
But the truth that you do not know
And the truth that I will reconcile.
Let's lay road Serosti.
Let's get up in faded dream.
Be proud! Well only the little
In ugliness to see beauty.
10.04.02.
To leave a response
* * *
So it is difficult to live,
Merging with a shade.
So to be terrible
To all fault.
So disgustingly to sleep
In one bed,
In a dream dreaming
About other.
So it is heavy to know
The otioseness.
Itself so it is difficult
To bury.
But to be easy
Empty and stale,
It is easy not to think,
Not to like.
2001.
To leave a response
* * *
Dim, in veins, a nephrite
And star zirconium.
The Ochroleucous shines
Obodok. Only late.
Gold petals
Does not captivate sijane.
There are no those sweet fetters,
That prophesy slijane.
Each thing the –
And zhelane, and time.
You was late
Not spilt seed.
2001.
To leave a response
* * *
* * *
In the street the sun shines,
And in a room brings down snow.
Behind windows – a gentle wind,
And here – a black blizzard run.
All is around warm and clear,
In me – only ice and a gloom.
Put on e the red tie.
And in a way! To entertain gapers.
2001
To leave a response
* * *
To me loneliness on advantage:
I become crazy and have fun.
And to sleep I lay down awfully late
And with the destiny I am not angry.
Would send all where far away
With their crush and vanity,
With their style of a life in beat a march.
And I – as a waltz, with itself.
To me it is good, where it is better:
I stir aloud and aloud I laugh,
One hand I drive clouds,
Another with tshcheslavem the imaginary I fight.
To me loneliness on advantage:
I read books and I sing.
And silently-silently stars shine
In egocentric paradise.
13.07.01.
To leave a response
* * *
I like under your eyelashes
To see dark blue grief and grief:
In them painfully tenderness will dream me
Or forces the distance will reveal.
I like under your palms
To feel and zhelane, and fear,
To be in a vice of your roughness caught
Or in tenderness to float clouds.
You caress as a wind invisible,
You excite as stupefying poppy.
I like, my Pleasure to like you
And it is not important, probably, as.
2001
To leave a response
* * *
Silent whisper of tired keys,
The monitor not clear light.
You as if in heart sting me:
«Not Read letters are not present».
That happens more painfully a pain,
What perhaps is more dark than darkness?
Loneliness, life in bondage,
Instead of a reality – colour dreams.
Whisper of keys falls asleep also,
Light, a melancholy trace concealing dies away.
Anything any more you will not correct -
You know, my Pleasure.
2001
To leave a response
* * *
The life has entangled me
Rods iron,
The death frightens, silly,
The eternity.
I such sad
And absolutely dissolute:
With pads spidery
Dead nightingale.
2001
To leave a response
* * *
I — am more gentle than the moon
And igrivej, than light.
I – a melodious string
And is warmer, than a plaid.
I do not cry, grieving.
I have fun as menada.
I have fallen in love with you.
But … it is necessary to you?
2001
To leave a response
* * *
Expectation – torture for arrogance heart:
Rumples, throws that in ice, in fire
Also touches soul the,
Whose are cold fingers and the palm is damp.
Torments, compresses, frightens and blows
Tomb; nadezhdoju robkoju heats,
Wastes hours and minutes,
And artful the expanse gives to thoughts,
And rage the fire kindles zadutyj
Also beats.
(Always only beats)
Expectation – in the essence is hopeless:
Comparable only with bitter, but light dream –
That gives rest as the sea is rebellious,
But only it is not similar to real destiny.
In hundred krat it is brighter, than lives a movement,
In him of feelings and sufferings rattles izverzhene,
It directs to secrets the future,
Bears us on wings by a dawn, forward.
But the truth conceals from pining, waiting
Also says lies.
(Always only says lies)
2001
To leave a response
* * *
I’m not eager to leave you,
Not anxious to hate you,
Not willing to false you,
B’t want to be free.
You’re eager to blame me
And anxious t’enslave me
And willing to rape me.
Who wins? Let us see.
2000
To leave a response
* * *
I live simply, I write letters –
In anywhere vskriki, to a treasure in a table.
To me it is absolutely empty, thoughts run –
To anybody requests, will give birth to harm.
To me now it is boring – I sing songs,
About a nobody's life, having disdained tone.
If you nearby to me it is close,
And if there is no sight, I – groan.
200
To leave a response
* * *
People like to straggle through life,
People try to fasten the rhythm –
Now to fly up, and then – to dive,
Being careful not to sink.
They are fighting and making fuss
Of a false, of a common thing.
Praising impudence, praising brass,
Still forgetting to feel and think.
1998
To leave a response
* * *
Open the window
To hear the rain.
It cries as a widow
At her husband’s grave,
Laughs as a baby,
Screams as a bird,
Answering “maybe”
T’all questions in th’world.
1998
To leave a response
* * *
I again one, I in mute apartment
Among red and pink tea roses.
To me so it is boring here, in the ideal world
Among sad dreams and sad dreams.
I with itself – as winter with snow,
I am silent all the day long and a floor of days I sleep.
If I am sick – I love and luxury.
If is not present – I wander and without words I sing.
I the became for a long time a silent shade,
But I do not know dobroju or malicious.
I – a stupid mix bezrazlichja with laziness,
And the reason that we separately with you.
1998
To leave a response
* * *
New Moscow – grey, rainy,
With a dirt of streets crying, with shine of a casino.
You soul are ugly, and self – beautiful,
On the quiet mixed tears and wine.
You not heart, the darling, and border faded
Between Europe, Asia and Russia at once.
That zvenjashche-white, issinja-wet
With hishchnoju uhmylkoju, with pair red eyes.
You will not mention I smother you, you will not light nadezhdoju,
You will deafen by ignorance, the power podsadnyh.
And to Paris old at all the bride you,
And another's passion you among the.
1997
To leave a response
* * *
In my house there lives boredom,
In my heart force rages.
Emptiness is only a flour,
And rest – only its symbol.
Year is lived – as was gone in a chasm
Neither people, nor times light.
If you are happy – there is no song,
The chain is days fluent.
In a head there is no storm more,
The trembling dies in a breast.
More nymphs are not present and there are no furies.
In that soul, that hardly decays.
1997
To leave a response
* * *
Outside of me
The rivers of fishes, fields of colours,
Patches of light of star fire,
The sky dark blue a cover.
At me – one flower,
In bank fresh water.
The arch pale a scrap
Yes mute wires.
1996
To leave a response
* * *
And behind windows — a tree,
Behind an entrance – theatre.
Really you believe me?
Among the scattered maps
Any about you, native.
Any for you.
And not, that you – empty.
It I, not liking.
Behind collars – autumn.
Behind a threshold – a fog.
You proud – do not ask,
You are assured – I will give.
Time and night,
The to become and love.
But there will be no I vernoju –
You will be undeceived again.
1996
To leave a response
* * *
* * *
Where I with you? In a pain foreshortening.
All I measure by light and darkness.
I leave, if allow,
If you will not give – to a camp another.
I am up to the end drunk by a distemper,
Nerves – a string in a signature stamp of insults.
Pain and shame – correct puty:
The reason has become silent, and the spirit already sleeps.
1996
To leave a response
* * *
Page Shezzer behind uselessness is rejected.
To disobey has dared – slide to devils.
Has thought, as something you can?
No, does not excuse anger of great ladies.
He now. Without sensitive pokrovitelstv –
Sechet its any dandy a lash.
It is young, but has got tired. Griefs the carrier
Does not remember: it is easier to live, or to die.
It near to it – for vymeshchenja anger,
For dirty humiliating jobs.
It the one who was liked by the queen
It the one for whom the grief to a coffin waits.
There passes night. And the new page happy
Destiny pytaet at its doors.
Still usluzhlivej and more playful,
Still fresh, more youngly and more strongly.
It in it the has enclosed a hand
And with it in a garden wandered to a dawn.
And for it will not be more sweet a flour,
Than tender sights to it to give.
Ah, the poor page, it is not necessary to become presumptuous,
The favour of queens is not durable.
Do not stumble, try not to break.
Idolise to a coffin this bluff!
1996
To leave a response
* * *
Has punched hour. Wait at a threshold.
I will think, whom you were.
The husband? The friend? No, it is a lot of.
You as a rain – slightly drizzled.
Has punched hour. Do not regret that was.
Indifference – sharp your knife.
It you have cut up everything, that liked:
From pieces you will sew nothing.
1996
To leave a response
* * *
There is something bolshee, than you and I,
Than our room and a moonlight.
Than four walls and than yours Haklanja,
Than boring "yes" and habitual "is not present".
Give we will look in other country
Let's leave alone the private world
There is something bolshee, something from the outside,
About what have jammed a paper to holes.
Let's experience force of the blind seas,
Boundlessness of wood and tenderness of rocks.
Elasticity of masts, naprjazhene yards.
And everyone will find, that for a long time searched.
1996
To leave a response
* * *
- To me you can tell: you have got tired?
- Yes, apparently, very much.
- From the ugly body?
- Yes, first of all?
- So, what it is necessary to think?
- Yes, the whole nights.
- So, what you with it agree?
- Yes, it is difficult, if you want.
- You doom to a life of grey.
- Yes, so I am severe.
- Eh you, misfortune of the cold North,
- No, docher the East.
- Dump the grief, stop expectation.
- No, to me not on forces.
- Become a nightingale, a song be also the legend.
- No, I am not beautiful.
- Haze disperse, well them to hell – sufferings.
- No, I not the lucky.
- Well stop loving – for it punishment.
- No, I annoying …
1996
To leave a response
* * *
I silly, I jealous,
I became absolutely another –
Not proud, not the obstinate:
You will want, I will be bent by an arch.
Obedient and got tired
Has reconciled without words to destiny,
In you and love gone,
I have confused the world with you.
I soft. I am sensitive.
I long on a decline of day.
I — a doll your rag.
What for to break me?!
1995
To leave a response
* * *
- To spit! – on what?
– For time, For tired movements,
On blood blows in a cinciput
And on thought naprjazhene.
- I can not! – that? – To Believe,
That have left prikosnovenja,
That around one losses.
It is inaccessible to me zabvene.
- Calm down, time to treat.
- Can be. From oshchushchenja
Its hands on a flexible body,
But memory, vlechene
Will not leave. Pray, people,
That you so did not throw,
And farewell those who likes:
Nearby to be – any more it is not enough.
1995
To leave a response
* * *
Throw off melancholy, grieves will fall asleep
In darkness of autumn night.
For you, liked most, -
Everything, that only you will want.
You want – I will be is silent-gentle,
To beskrajnosti the enamoured.
Perhaps silly and amusing?
Is not present? Then – defined.
I can – native and close
Or simply wise friend,
I can be the enemy from the list
Or to be another's girlfriend.
Choose, ask and demand,
Let will not be "anyhow",
To what a casual lot:
All and has got so a long time.
I – a corpse, I – death and an old age,
Nothing is interesting to me.
To me to stand, run or fall
Equally boringly, tritely, it is fresh.
1995
To leave a response
* * *
* * *
Pain you bear and ozhidane,
You cut silly words,
Grief you give, you repair stradanja,
You iron lying hands.
Keep silent, I know the price
Both to words, and kisses.
I will leave, while live,
That itself to remain in vain.
I can play with you,
I can be silent and listen.
Bodies sudboju are weaved,
But I will leave soul.
1995
To leave a response
* * *
Three camomiles yellow
To the friend I will present
With words dead
«I like you».
Two changes – silly,
Proof – one:
That, that is not sunk
In a whirlpool of wine,
That, that in heart glimmers
Also knocks on breasts,
That, with which across the field
I wish to leave.
Where still we will meet,
How much with it of changes?
Perhaps a field yellow,
Can – for ever.
1995
To leave a response
* * *
Words – a stream, yes all are sung,
All are covered by a grey dust.
Behind mountains – wisdom Vedy,
Behind a threshold – a way to nasilju.
unishad it is dead uchene,
Affairs are not present to ancient shruti:
It is much betrayed zabvenju,
All it is dared also all of us we joke.
We heat a sight in empty glasses,
Thoughts – in laziness and bessile,
Umertvljaem a dream in fogs
And dream we deprive of wings.
Whether there is a sense in eight steps?
Silence – also is not present the answer.
Persons, sights, hands, shades,
And a result – melancholy from light.
1995
To leave a response
* * *
In two hours – a dawn,
Through three I will fall asleep, perhaps,
Through five – a harbinger of troubles
New day will come the insignificant.
Through seven – will blow up fire
The fear, that will grow day into an epoch,
Through twenty – stop, do not touch!
To me, I hope, will be on ….
1995
To leave a response
* * *
Leave. Do not stand at a door.
You simply do not approach me.
I like you without a measure
You laugh, cry, groan.
Well, farewell! What? You can not live
Without me? You it throw.
You to me, the darling, do not approach.
I like you to a rage.
1995
To leave a response
* * *
* * *
You already in my memory.
Without drawings, without words.
Impression, whether you know,
And over them – a bolt.
You – illness my eternal,
Crying and groan, and melancholy –
Is delightful-gentle
As a jump haughtily …
1995
To leave a response
* * *
I about you did not write verses.
You – only feeling and you – nastroene,
Light withering sleeping houses,
You – my grief, mine you terpene.
I did not wish so gently to like,
Caress to give, scatter kisses.
You – I of reason also lose a thread,
Sights catching and godlessly I am jealous.
It is a pity – up to the end you are not able to understand.
Tritely you play and at all you do not appreciate.
Lines with you – allow to touch, embrace.
Time will pass, give the God, you will grow wiser.
1995
To leave a response
* * *
All the same, that will be tomorrow,
To spit on that was.
Behind fragments of happiness,
Horse-radish one in the end – a tomb.
There are no people. To whom you will tell,
That in you continuous boredom,
That you to sleep at daybreak will lay down,
That love and a life – a science.
Exist svoeju a pain,
Listen to hearts knock in calm,
And all of them wounds – salt,
That "grief" "rage" left.
1995
To leave a response
* * *
* * *
Who has told, what you not the light?
Simply sharp and tired.
You to appreciate are able gently
Also it is happy even with the small.
You – both Pleasure, and Fun
And opened zhelane.
Bewitching you a potion
And immemorial stradane.
1995
To leave a response
* * *
Gate iron were again closed,
Again – waste ground and dank darkness.
The woman – you a being useless,
You in loneliness as if winter.
Has slapped a door – you a drawn game, you – inutile,
You rush about again in ozhidane a call.
Kitchen, window and plate smoked,
The chair from bessilja a kick falls.
The lock has clicked, you have moved back to a mirror
You look as shine dies away in your pupils.
Finger you erase lipstick faded.
The woman – groan and a despair splash.
1995
To leave a response
* * *
The scratch lingering has opened gate,
Over a bog – a grey-haired fog.
On a shower – about words care,
Old wood has concealed a deceit.
Masts of fur-trees tower,
Covers a fog needles,
Wood plays that pipe,
That Arsita has found in paradise.
The voice over a gloomy thicket is audible
«Mum, mum! Well where you?»
Wood after all seems only sleeping -
Waits for the moment, eyes are empty.
Only mother has not come on a call,
Has not heard pale call.
And the child shouted from a pain,
Choking in embraces of mosses.
Also dense fur-trees were closed,
Have absorbed – and again back
And a lingering song have started singing:
Say, late already to search.
1994
To leave a response
* * *
* * *
Than you can live the unfortunate?
What in twenty is silly without a measure?
That your days are rainy
Also the Chimera reigns over all.
What have you found, poor?
The plan for five decades,
One hundred thousand, belief in the God
Or a star, what eternally shines?
Where aim yours, disdained?
In a heap of money, change of masks,
In feeling light-unforgettable
In new shine of old paints?
It is all ridiculously and small,
Not zanjatno, not beautifully.
It – as if with a life the transaction:
It is necessary? There will be I happy.
1994
To leave a response
* * *
You are afraid, that I will grow fond
Not you, and other man.
Also I will leave you on the brink
Without the special reason on it.
You, are final the rights, as always:
To me to leave from you yes far away,
That neither the sun, nor snow, water
Did not whisper names how earlier.
I would not like to like more
Marble block, sheaf of needles,
Whose is thin a clue,
Whose so the hammer painfully goes down.
1994
To leave a response
* * *
Day has flown as a minute
And for about a second night lasted.
The wind blows at JUshuta,
Carrying away cares away.
Is gentle-morning freshness
Has washed off a dust from heavy hands.
Here you can believe feelings,
Here words – an inutile sound.
Here storms vdohnovene,
From eyes the veil falls down.
And under trees a light shade
Wisdom sows seeds.
1994
To leave a response
* * *
You are old in sixteen,
As the shrew you is terrible,
You can not try at all –
You were and there is one.
All – your inconstancy,
Eternal search of new words.
You are poor as narrow-mindedness
Also it is mad as love.
1994
To leave a response
* * *
After two me it becomes boring,
From five I rush about, as if an animal.
Thoughts are gloomy, as fragmentary clouds,
All in empty – you do not want – do not believe.
To sense is not present in surrounding people,
There is no rest in frightening dreams.
In seven me impudently awake,
Turning inactivity in ashes.
It is visible, the life and goes on a circle
And zhelanja throws in darkness.
It is easy to you to give the diagnosis to an illness:
«The one who hurries spring» is gloomy.
1994
To leave a response
* * *
Downwards, on long forty metres
Where the sight sinks in a gloom,
There, where snow and winds are mute –
There is no therefrom a way back.
Feeling cold marble,
Hearing a thaw sad knock.
It obediently and gauging shy,
Looking around, as a wolf, around.
And, having gone down in a crude hole,
It on rails has continued a way.
All forward – hopelessly-directly,
Not giving itself to curtail.
The roar tore silence to shreds,
Approaching structure and death.
Has turned back: he so wants:
There is no place to disappear, about what to regret?
The train rushes, mighty whisper
It is distributed at the feet.
And last sincere grumble:
Really could not excuse?
1994
To leave a response
* * *
«Gloves, these gloves».
Rustle of leaves and flexibility of dreams.
The bared dream rudiments,
The burnt song of winds.
Your hands and your fingers
Braid a bouquet in a spiral.
Look and at lips zarsja –
Mouth muscles – a gold distance.
Grow fond of beauty without a sort,
Admire without superfluous words.
Bodies flight is feelings freedom,
Dance of hands is a shower love.
1994
To leave a response
* * *
Night to me became hated
– Presses memories a fog,
Expectation has hung,
Laughter slides the deceptive.
Night of love brings thoughts
Also teases voobrazhene.
Also draws, as if a brush,
Eye liked otrazhene.
1994
To leave a response
* * *
Gnash about glass of claws:
Metal sounds.
Light is extinguished, without people
You suffer dark night of a flour.
Voice sweet: «well, start up
We with you so nicely lived ».
Heart is torn from a breast,
You remember – a coffin have driven in.
«Who you?» «I am your wife,
Well be not afraid gentle, lovely.
You see – I one,
To me so it is terrible in that tomb ».
Again a gnash about glass
The wind howls, as hungry.
Someone cries behind a window
Someone tender, free.
And words have broken from lips:
"Come". So it is accurate, distinctly.
And it has stuck a tooth:
«It will be sweet and is pleasant».
1994
To leave a response
* * *
You to me anybody – you to me the stranger.
Cold, pale, vulnerable.
Raspolosovany a knife
Yours the person and a neck, the darling.
What for you were gave in charge
To crowd torn off ljudishek -
Bear you, but their dreams
To get drunk and be forgotten, you hear?
Also the first clod has knocked deafly
On a dark red cover of a coffin.
And in twenty five sepulchral dream
You have wrapped up from Rage.
1994
To leave a response
* * *
Darkness. Loneliness. Slush.
Only measured voice of hours.
All — an otioseness and fragmentary memory
Without delights, desires, without words.
Pile of books. A sheet of paper. Ink.
And a confused voice of hours.
Even if I did not like you –
Who will interrupt colourfulness of dreams?
Thin beam and shivering hands.
Irritating voice of hours.
The brain pulses, connected by a flour,
Eternally held down in one hundred fetters.
The dried up fragmentary lips.
Gradually-mad voice of hours.
Behind doors – concrete pipes
And vodoju the filled ditch.
Iskazhenno-shivering body.
Humiliating laughter of hours.
The madness so has wanted:
Is not present neither it is more than reason, nor words.
1994
To leave a response
* * *
* * *
Who thought, the love is babble,
Who thought, that a life – buffoonery.
Probably, at all does not appreciate
Neither eternity, nor feelings ocean.
In the transparent he looks distances,
In the run low channel of the river
And again to a pain bites
Palm of the misted over hand.
To leave a response
* * *
Heaps of books on a thin table.
I wander without soul and without a body:
As the melancholy I is opposite January –
As if mountains of the got wet chalk.
Someone sleeps, someone to cough has got tired.
The TV creaks because of a wall.
Snow lays down as white metal
On the knees filled in with blood.
1994
To leave a response
* * *
Switch off the bitter TV,
Lower brown curtains.
In silence of hours the reprise knocks,
On a wall – shades and hands patterns.
Eyelids open, do not frown an eyebrow.
You do not sleep: talk to me.
Be afraid, as well as I, the spilt blood.
Dissolve in disbelief with toskoju.
It is all. Already it is not important,
Where your reason and a blind body.
If you have understood all, having got off twice,
I will tell, how I wanted you.
1994
To leave a response
* * *
It is possible for me to die?
Be not afraid, I am cautious.
I do not wish to be ill.
Simply tell: it is possible?
I will not fill in your floor
Darkening dirty blood,
I will not befoul a table
Note with rotten love.
It is possible for me to die?
Be not afraid, I am cautious.
Only not to dare to regret!
Simply tell – it is possible?
29.11.93.
To leave a response
* * *
Four walls are poisoned by boredom,
From a dust the window has died.
Perfect dreams any more do not dream me:
On heart as in a flank – it is dark.
But it not the complaint and not reproach,
What to live it is impossible, liking.
I do not remember: on the West to me or the East
And so I hate myself.
1993
To leave a response
* * *
The old park has bowed listvoju
And calmness in soft steps.
I am possible your heart I will close?
And differently we will burn down on coals.
Soon autumn and park sedotravyj
Covers sick eyes.
And asphalt is full of a dirt a poison –
On a trunk — pitch tear.
To me it is not important, that the summer will come to an end,
In each time the charm.
You speak – without me as without light.
For some reason I do not listen.
On a shower it is carefree, careless.
I palms catch air.
The life is perfect, as park this eternal,
Only it is a pity, that you I do not like.
1993
To leave a response
* * *
Cut off black a lightning,
Cut down by clouds,
Month shnyrjaet on the sky,
Burdened with centuries.
That for pleasure to suffer,
In black to wander the sky?
The choice is not present. You will not go down,
If to shine – your lot.
1993
To leave a response
* * *
On the Earth even shouts are dim,
On the Earth only dreams full.
You have told, that I live sadly,
But what for to me to be ridiculous?
I sadly meet you,
I do not throw the arms round a neck, liking.
You consider – I not live,
Or I did not wait for you?
All not so: to me ridiculously happens,
I remove a bolt from soul.
But only the grief and melancholy will thaw –
I do not like, I do not write verses.
1993
To leave a response
* * *
I go and I look at the faces.
Do not look sideways at me –
Memory you vidennogo day
In persons and eyes it will be displayed.
The sky poobtrepano also is old,
Ill soft grey light.
In your souls of a spark of happiness is not present –
To you it is not audible as the guitar sings.
I go along the street with a smile,
At foliage and on people I look.
But whom I a sight will beg
To forget a hardship and errors?
1993
To leave a response
* * *
Clean this darkness
To-me not to survive the whole night.
Never I will understand,
That the love wants today.
Think of a head split up,
Tear apart feelings a soul.
With hopelessness it is filled
Put, that to you was not necessary.
Night without edge and the end.
Remove a gloom bottomless!
Morning will rise at a porch,
I will die then easy.
1993
To leave a response
* * *
I run to breakage,
I wish to fly up.
Air to take with running start
And hands to sing.
Fear of a rock haughty,
Serost muddy clouds,
The change seas
And a sliding beam.
I run faster,
I wave a hand,
Time has twirled,
Has drunk rest.
The sun presses from above
I whisper dream:
«The sea, rocks, a wind,
I treat, I treat! »
Evening, people, persons,
The dawn has flown.
Morning, pleasure, birds,
And I was not present.
1993
To leave a response
* * *
- It? – Yes.
It-is a pity to you? – Is not present,
Nonsense,
Growing dim light.
What? A-dirt,
Let's better leave.
It was rubbish,
All of us we will die.
- It is dead!!!
? Anything,
I and so
I like it.
1993
To leave a response
* * *
You are unreasonably silly,
I am sick of you.
I do not live, I – a corpse,
It is your fault.
Nasty slanting rain
Cuts my person,
In a body in all a shiver,
Eyelids are full lead.
1993
To leave a response
* * *
Having choked a dust of powder,
I fly in a dark hall.
Candles die away, whisper chairs,
The shaft ceases noise.
The conductor has waved rukoju -
I have fallen asleep, not breathing,
And puglivoju toskoju
It is filled smothering.
And the bow was hammered gently
In sensitive liking hands.
And on a scene – uncertainty,
And behind a curtain – fear.
1993
To leave a response
* * *
From height of the seventh floor
It is not visible to me of your dead persons.
Also calls, calmness destroying,
Behind itself flight of free birds.
For a long time it is not terrible to us to die,
You would not like to be afraid for a long time.
We needed to think and be ill –
To you laziness to understand and exchange.
Who you, tired to search,
You who have glazed over in rest,
Who not in forces to think and dream?
It – we killed in a pursuit.
1993
To leave a response
* * *
* * *
We will sink in a rain,
And we will wake up in hope,
That in transparent water
Clothes will turn white.
We will stick in a dirt,
But we will regain consciousness from light.
It is not necessary to awake us -
The life is similar for the summer!
1993
To leave a response
* * *
I have become deaf – I do not hear
Dyhanja winds,
I have gone blind – I do not see
Lights of dreams.
This rain infinite
And a rain without the reasons.
I do not want its song
And puddles of wrinkles.
I am afraid to remain here
And so to die.
It is not terrible to me to vary,
But it is terrible not to sing.
I do not remember as happiness
Rushes into blood.
I only feel a cold
Also I know love.
1993
To leave a response
* * *
I am afraid of continuation,
I in palms will compress
This instant of a regret
And love silence.
Do not judge me strictly –
Summer I do not like.
Only I will leave for a long time
In heart of feeling the Dawn.
1993
To leave a response
* * *
* * *
The shaggy rain ushastogo has painted the double-dealing fellow
The Earth insult. You are not afraid? No.
And it is a pity, I would like to see your yellow disappointment.
And then I will wake up, if you leave a body and a high smile.
1993
To leave a response
* * *
I not in forces to wait
I hear hearts knock.
I can not understand
This fragmentary sound.
I am afraid of all,
That on light is.
It is a joke, the God?
Or it is revenge?
If suddenly a call
Will dump silence
I will press a cock
And love I will kill.
It – not war,
Not fear of.
It is simple so,
So I wait for you.
1993
To leave a response
* * *
The wind blows, a ring of branches,
Night conjures pleasure of days.
Calm down and excuse
With a star that rushes up.
Be free as the river,
Burn down with eyes of a cloud,
But I will whisper to you,
That freedom I do not want …
1993
To leave a response
* * *
* * *
It is difficult to understand mood of day,
It is difficult to find me in peace souls,
It is difficult to catch falls over the river,
It is difficult to come back always back.
1993
To leave a response
* * *
Early vesnoju I will leave the house,
I will sit down on the earth and I will silently accustom to drinking.
Here, on the earth, I will leave myself
Life, having released, I will forget the.
In desert I will greet the sky,
Secrets to dryads to entrust carried fault,
Everywhere I feel roofing felt trace,
With left going, death, the parties.
1993
To leave a response
* * *
The rain has begun to sound,
The thunder has cried out,
I on a pan
Knife has taped.
Day was stunned,
The wind has started singing,
I on the moon
To height has departed.
The hailstones have grumbled,
The house has kept silent,
Windows having opened,
I in the sky shouted.
The rain has come to an end,
I have shut a window,
Air has become silent
And with melancholy has presented.
1993
To leave a response
* * *
* * *
I want emptiness,
I want silence.
What is the dreams?
These are lunar dreams.
I will sit down near a fire
And hands I will take
Sparks of malicious morning
And former spring,
I will rake pieces of coal
Also will cover me
The novel world
Gold fire.
1993
To leave a response
* * *
When in wood light will thaw
And noise will fall asleep in calm,
From darkness disappearing and from troubles,
The small animal in a hole hurries,
The babe-troll from under the earth
Leaves on fields.
And a violin as if have published,
Sings for the king.
But there is no fun to the king
And the darkness shrouds Light,
And I will come to it – I will accustom to drinking:
Grieves not at all.
1993
To leave a response
* * *
The summer flied, having stretched wings,
The summer shouted, liking.
The summer did not know, that means bessile
Also did not spare itself.
The sky for some days has turned grey,
The lightning has burnt the earth,
The cold was got also by soul has become empty,
Has frozen together, has surrendered, has become obsolete.
The autumn sat, having lifted a collar,
The autumn was silent, grieving.
The autumn wanted vsevlastja and forces
But did not change itself.
It is a pity, there will not come after autumn summer -
The autumn will die, having turned yellow.
The youth will not replace an old age
And light to me not to find, having turned grey.
1993
To leave a response
* * *
Behind a dark fencing – a becoming blue eye,
Deaf molchane tombs.
I to recollect I try, I will recollect now –
Here in the past far I was.
Me have dragged in cold to a coffin,
Procession – five persons.
And dampness, a stench, as if in a hell
Have blurred that day by the ground.
Tupoju a shovel to dig have begun a hole
In the frozen guilty earth.
Also it was not audible voronego to din
In a coffin, in the driven in haze.
Then, a coffin cover having opened cautiously,
Me with otvrashchenem the nude
In a deep hole have thrown godlessly –
And the coffin is useful to another.
The cold earth on a breast to me threw,
That my soul to knock down.
Dyhanem the hands warmed –
It, silly, it would be desirable to be.
Smothering washing, arising obstinately,
Has flied up to grey-haired heavens.
It, having overcome time space
Has nestled by the future o'clock.
And here the sixteenth year on the earth I
I live all in an appearance other,
About the past oppressing almost not regretting
And days passing behind day.
And again all is empty on a cemetery gloomy.
Only terrible shouts a raven
Yes branches stenanja, from a wind cracking,
In the ominous have merged a unison.
1993
To leave a response
* * *
* * *
The twilight has veiled night stars,
Dark streets have hidden light.
Wet asphalt has plunged into dreams,
Evening has left, and morning all is not present.
Having hidden eyes in not read book
I among lines search for you.
On a table, on written sitting,
I wait for continuation of last day.
Groan has sounded as structure a roar,
Having made deaf and mute silence.
Whether I hear your tired whisper
Or, as always, I say lies to myself?
1993
To leave a response
* * *
The blue sky,
The black earth.
I somewhere go,
Having forgotten itself.
Sound of wheels on cross ties -
Logic and fear,
Steps beats out
In years and centuries.
All around smetaja,
The structure forward rushes.
The formula simple:
Glory, the purpose and year.
Glories it is not necessary for me,
The purposes in a life are not present.
Perhaps we will stop
Knock of colourless years?
1993
To leave a response
* * *
What is the Death?
Not bole, Than extinct day.
What is the Death? Not bole,
Than under the sun a shade.
Perhaps it is feelings molchane,
Perhaps — silence.
And consequently that bole
In Death I am enamoured.
1993
To leave a response
* * *
What is the life?
As it is difficult to find the answer.
For me a life became
In what light is not present.
Heathland of pleasures, desires,
Only one dreams.
Grief molchanja and exiles
You will not cure.
The sense is not present and I do not search
In a rain roar
And eyes at light shchurja
In a shade I disappear.
For what all this nonsense,
Darkness of soul?
Life – not a rest cradle.
For happiness do not search!
1992
To leave a response
* * *
* * *
Moonless night with zvezdoju the shining
Has covered my world with a cap.
Together we wandered along the street the sleeping
And I have lost rest.
We together looked at the sky, were silent
Also thought everyone – the.
But we were drawn by a breeze jingling,
We even shivered together!
The lantern dispersed darkness, hopelessly
Snatched out the sky a piece.
Your shoulder burnt down to me a shoulder, and is godless
You were from me so is far!
But I know – you will return again, will not forget,
As we here wandered together.
You in heart for me will get fire.
We will burn down. And together we will fall asleep.
1991
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